These images are from a series of prints completed during the months following the death of my father. He became very ill very quickly. It was a difficult time. The evaluation and treatment did not make sense to me. When I became aware of his illness, I began a written journal. But, I am a visual artist. I interpret events in my life using pigments and mark making. The first sketches were completed in response to photographs of normal cells of the body. The next were drawn in response to photographs of diseased cells. This work Felt forces. This process also made no sense. I put it aside.
During his illness, we spent time talking about the current events, family events, and getting through the day. I kept a rosary in my pocket or in my hands. Shortly after his death, I decided to print beads. I used the beads as stamps. I embedded them in homemade clay and printed the plates. Finally, this was making sense. It felt comfortable. The rosary beads were the inspiration for this work. I look beyond this. Maybe it was comfortable because beads have been used for many generations in many cultures. Maybe it was because beads have been used for adornment, trade, prayer, and meditation.
When I look at the images as a group, I have glimpses of the journey that we took. I remember conversations. Some of the images even hint at the organic cells that I had tried to represent earlier in the experience. It is my hope that others will see these images and catch a glimpse of their experiences. I also hope that they will find their own creative ways to experience a loss.
Ritamarie Moscola, MD, MPH, NMD studied at The Johns Hopkins University and The Maryland Institute College of Art. She lives in Bedford, NH